lundi 10 février 2014
My name is François Hollande
My name is François Hollande
Hello everybody. Je suis arriving today aux US to tell you que la France is a very modern country. Bon, of course, je traîne a very bad reputation. I don’t like the rich people, mais je me soigne. La preuve : I propose un Pact of Responsability to the patrons, and they like it very much. Enfin, j’espère…
In fact, j’essaye de faire oublier que I decided a max of taxes, et que the profits of the french companies are au plus bas. J’essaye also de faire oublier que I promised to inverser the courbe of the chômage. Well, it is not a big success, but j’espère… Enfin, j’essaye de faire oublier that France is now a country qui bat tous ses records : deficits, 75 %, bureaucracy, unemployement, and of course impopularité of its President, Moi myself.
But j’espère…
It is a little complicated for you, mais you must savoir que, now, I am social-démocrate. I can’t explain that, mais it is modern. And it is nouveau. Alors of course, because c’est nouveau, a lot of mes amis are disapointed. They don’t like it. Ils croyaient que my ennemy was the finance, and que j’allais kill the Europe of austérité. Well, I have raté, it is sure. Alors, they are pas contents, my good friends of the left, the communists, the écolos, the Front de Gauche (I prefere not traduire) and a large part of my Socialist Party. And they present a lot of propositions de loi pour dire to the French people that they are encore à gauche.
Mais croyez-moi, my dear friends of America, I am the boss, and you have to m’écouter moi, not the others. In fact, you have to écouter ce que je vous dis ici, not to regarder ce que je fais at home. C’est comme ça que I have dirigé the PS during ten years. And c’est comme ça que I have été elected. Believe me, you can come to France : it is a très joli pays, and the sequestrations of patrons are very rare. And you will see, it will be good. Enfin, j’espère…
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