Those very short shorts are not a good look
If your pocket linings are poking out below your hemline, you risk looking like a schoolgirl dressing for the boys on the No 27 bus
The summer trend this year seems to be for young women to wear their shorts so short that the pocket lining pokes out through the bottom. Did I miss a memo?
Charlotte, by email
You most certainly did, Charlotte, but, fortunately, I have saved it in my infallible filing system. Now let's see, notes on the return of DMs, no . . . What is this year's acceptable shade of blond?, no . . . Is the French Vogue look un petit peu passé, non, non, non . . . Ah! Mais oui, voici le memo:
Attention all fashionable people, Phoebe Philo – repeat PHOEBE PHILO – last year included a skirt in her collection for Céline – repeat, CÉLINE – that was so short the hem of the tucked in shirt trailed out beneath the hem of the skirt. Take note and do with it what you will.
Yours, The consigliere of fashion
Without wishing to disregard the consigliere, while Philo's too-short-skirt looked rather nifty on the catwalk, on the pavement it looks as if you think you are still at school and have rolled your skirt up too high to impress the boys on the No 27 bus with your gynaecological chic. And even back then it didn't work so well.
However, this styling trick of the très chic French label Céline dovetailed, almost certainly for the first time in its life, with one promoted by the deeply annoying Australian label Ksubi (according to Ksubi's not recommended website, this mainly denim label "challenges current perception on popular culture and trends, examining the idea of structure, regimented throughout culture and society as seen in the alleyways of the metropolis, is flanked by urban decay" (sic). I think we can all agree that "deeply annoying" is putting it nicely.)
Ksubi had already been working the pocket-lining-hanging-out-of-the-bottom-of-the-shorts look for a while and Céline seemed to be giving this look the nod by promoting a similar one. Thus, the combination of a trend promoted by both an allegedly trendy denim label and a definitely trendy fashion label, coupled with the way it encourages – nay, relies on – extremely high hemlines, made it inevitable that it would become a veritable juggernaut with the dominating forces of fashion, ie, teenage girls and twentysomething women.
Bish bash bosh, there you go, a fashion trend, all set to go, ready for consumption by the masses.
I read an interview recently in which Marc Jacobs complained about being given a lifetime achievement award. Is he now officially a grumpy old man?
Michael, by email
How old is Marc Jacobs now? Forty-eight? Why, that's basically 322 in fashion years, which go by even faster than dog years. How is he even still allowed to work? See you later, grandpa! And don't bang the doorframe with your wheelchair on your way out!
To recap, tonight, at the CFDA (Council of Fashion Designers of America) awards in New York – which is basically the Oscars for fashion, so with better or worse fashion on the red carpet, depending on whether you like your fashion safe and beige (Oscars) or outré, which is French for "crazy and possibly unflattering" (fashion Oscars) – Jacobs is to be given a lifetime achievement award. The New York Times claimed Jacobs's reaction was to grumble "sourly".
Jacobs is not the only recipient to have mixed feelings about being given what is pretty much the obituary of awards. It is de rigueur for anyone under 80 who receives a lifetime achievement at a film awards ceremony to make pretty much that joke, even though we all know, really, that the award is not a death certificate but just a clumsy apology for not having given the recipient more awards before.
But what Jacobs is really complaining about, it seems to me, is not that he thinks he's over, or even that the CFDA thinks he's over, but that various fashion people do. The New York Times decided this meaningless bitchery deserved a giant story on the front page of its Style section, a story that could basically be summed up as: "Some people think he's passé, some people don't; he's still very successful, the end."
On the day this non-story came out, theoutnet.com, which I have been known to peruse, purely for professional purposes, put Jacobs on the front of its site, proclaiming him "New York's coolest designer". So, what can we conclude from all this? That fashion people know nothing; that the concept of cool is meaningless, and that the fashion world is basically an industry akin to Mean Girls. No wonder Jacobs is feeling old – sorry, grumpy.
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